Seasons & Episodes
With Sex You Get Eggroll
The Mayor wants Head Lifeguard Notch Johnson out of Malibu Adjacent, and she's recruited Kimberlee Clark to join his squ
Silence of the Clams
A unpopular girl, doesn't have a date for ""Clamapolooza"" in a end party for the college students spring break. She sta
In the G-Hetto
When Jamaica is blackmailed into running drugs for a gangsta, Notch insists upon taking her place as the "mule". After a
Love, Native American Style
Notch is distraught when his step-father, local Indian Chief Pokemon, passes on, and a local casino developer convinces
Two Thongs Don't Make a Right
When Little Peter Gozinya disappears on the beach, Notch and the gang mobilize to find him. And also mobilize to repeal
Fanny and the Professor
The Mayor with help from The Professor, plot to take over Notch's job and the beach with three beautiful robot lifeguard
Eat My Muffin
When BJ muffs a save, she goes into an identity crisis and ends up in the care of The Divine Rod, who runs a home for lo
Miso Honei
When the world's most dangerous tsunami, Miso Honei, is detected rushing at Malibu Adjacent, the Mayor senses a media ev
South of Her Border
When Notch and the girls travel to the South American nation of Humidor to stop a military coup, they end up in prison i
Day of the Jackass
Malibu Adjacent is hosting a peace conference between China and Africa, and Notch has been banned from attending. That w
A Star Is Boned
The glamour of Hollywood is hitting the beaches of Malibu Adjacent: the fabulous stars, the adoring crowds, the death th
Attack of the Cocktopuss
When the Cocktopuss sets shores on the beach, the mayor wants it as another wonder of the world. Chip sings for a rock
Mario Putzo's... The Last Dong
Vinnie Fellachio returns to terrorizes the beach. Chip's sister, Ava Rommel visits him, and puts the moves on B.J.
B.J. Blue Hawaii
Notch gets honored by the Hawaiian Tropic so he and the gang go to Hawaii. Notch meets up with an old friend and discov
From Russia with Johnson
Notch and his unit must stop a Russian terrorist.
Remember Her Titans
Jamaica's boyfriend has a problem with gambling, and is majorly in debt. Since Jamaica's boyfriend doesn't have the mon
Rod Strikes Back
Rod returns and wants his revenge on everyone, Especially for B.J.; Chip's dog ""shitsu"" (sp?) arrives at Malibu Adjace
Queefer Madness
The beach is terrorized by a gang of bad boys.
Light My Firebush
Notch hires his half Indian sister as a life guard and uses savages techniques to help the beach. B.J. is reunited with
Chip's a Goy
Needing some R&R, the Gang heads to the tranquil Middle East. Their visit with Notch's Israeli counterpart, Noccus Johns
A Tale of Two Johnsons
When an evil crime syndicate clones an operative to look like Notch, the Gang is suddenly seeing double. The real Notch
It's a Nude, Nude, Nude, Nude World
The Nude-lympics come to Malibu Adjacent, and someone is killing beautiful, naked women because he feels they are 'Dirty
It's Showtime at the Apollo 13!
Jamaica is chosen as the first black lifeguard in space aboard the shuttle <em>Catastrophe</em>; Notch goes undercover a
The Island of Dr. Merlot
B.J. and Notch crashes on an island while riding in his airplane, Dr. Merlot decides to make them his throphys.
The Sexorcist
Jamaica has just come back from her vacation and came back with gifts, including a bottle that everyone was afraid of wh
Grand Prix
Notch must defend the honor of America in a three-quarter midget car race vs. a man from France. The Frenchman, who goes
Area 69
When B.J. is impregnated and then abducted, Notch knows that there's trouble afoot. And when his old Vietnam/F.B.I. budd
Booger Nights
Quotes: Notch: ""Here's a picture of my head. And here's a picture of my face.""
Penetration Island
Notch and the gang head to the Island of Bulimia by Tex Finklestein at ""UBM"" wanting higher ratings. When they get th
Saturday Night Queefer
Johnny Queefer returns to town to take on his dreams of becoming a broadway star. Johnny dances at one point with Porcel
In the Line of Booty
Someone tries to kill rapper Larry ""Biggy"" Little, and Jamaica's new rapper boyfriend is blamed.
Three Days of the Condom
When Notch's gang finds out that B.J. has gone missing from her D.C. internship, the gang travels to D.C. to find her. H
Witness for the Prostitution
Notch is honored at the State Univeristy College of Malibu Adjacent (S.U.C.M.A., home of the Cocks) with the opening of
The Gay Team
A villain named ""Heinous Anus"" (RuPaul) is making young men disappear from the beach, and they are all ending up in a
You Only Come Once
Stinkfinger wants revenge on the people of the world because he didn't get workman's compensation because of an explosio
Hamm Stroker's Suck My Blood
When foreign lifeguards start getting killed at the Lifeguard of the Year Convention, Notch is forced to watch over his
Godfather Knows Best
Jamaica is shocked when Vinnie Fellachio claims to be the father she has never known.
Empty the Dragon
Notch travels to Japan with Kimberlee, Chip and Porcelain for the Nagasaki Fried Chicken (NFC) Karaoke Championships. To
The Long Hot Johnson
Notch's old wet nurse Aunt Jizzy and company come to him with stories of Klan activity in South Malibu Adjacent and a sc
Taco Lips Now (1)
In a flashback to Notch's war days, we see how his commanding officer Colonel Kooze ""improperly disposed of"" the villa
Jailhouse Notch (2)
Notch is convicted of the war crime and goes to jail, where he meets all sorts of unsavory characters, but soon he break
Bad News, Mr. Johnson (3)
""Master of disguise"" Notch Johnson is on the run and he spends some time hiding out at Aunt Jizzy's, where he learns t
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